Dating Tips

Learn How to Choose between Your Boyfriend and Another Guy

Do not be surprised to hear someone ask how to choose between two guys because it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time. Making a decision can be hard. Not choosing at all might be a way to look at it. Let it stay that way unless a guy wants to be exclusive. Play the field until you have the Real Talk. Sometimes, it is better not to tell a lie because you will feel like crap about it later – and he is going to know eventually, as it is hard to keep track of everything.

If someone does not like that arrangement, you should set them free and do not cling to them. A decision would not change the character or value of either guy. How they both react would depend on different situations, and you can barely decide on that alone. Your relationship with one of those guys will be somewhat different. You may even notice a greater sense of comfort with one of them. He may keep you as his priority and do not mind being there for you. The one who makes you feel safe usually deserves your companionship. But, the problem is that making a decision about choosing between two guys is never this simple. That is probably the reason why so many women keep asking, "What do you do when you like two guys?"

lady between two guys

How to Proceed When Torn Between Two Guys?

Sometimes, it is possible to choose between two guys because you know you feel at ease with one of them. Your relationship with the other guy may be exciting and fresh, but you may not be getting that sense of safety. However, the decision is not always that straightforward. Here is how to choose between two guys you love:

  • Be imaginative and decide who would be a better family man. Imagine how it would feel to have a family with both of these guys. Not everyone behaves the same when it comes to raising children and sharing responsibilities. Thinking long-term will help you and you will choose between two guys. Share your thoughts with those men and decide who seems more comfortable with your idea of having a family. Someone who seems to be a lovely husband and an even better father should be your choice.
  • Pay attention to your feelings. How you feel in the presence of each of those guys matters a lot. Appreciate their positive traits but look for more. They should encourage you and inspire you to improve and grow in life. Be with someone who does not mind pointing out your mistakes and flaws but do it nicely and makes you feel beautiful at the same time.
  • Do not be shy to ask for advice. Sometimes, you are blinded by love and really cannot see the shortcomings of a relationship. Asking a third person for advice would give you a new perspective and a way to approach your relationship. Talk to your best friend and share your predicament. You do not need to follow their advice blindly, but it will at least give you a direction to think about choosing between two guys.
  • Ensure it is really love and not just infatuation. It is not always the love at first sight for all of us. Sometimes, you need time to confirm you connect on a profound level. Consider the overriding emotion in your heart while interacting with each of those guys. What do you feel when you ponder on the prospect of dating each of them in a year from now? When around those guys, do you feel disappointed, tired, or resigned? Or you feel inspired, excited, and eager. Really, your emotions and feelings will tell you everything. And you will make the right decision choosing between two guys.

Dating Two Guys: How to Choose with Confidence

How to make the right decision about choosing between two guys can be tricky at times. You are less likely to decide if you keep meeting both of them. Therefore, separating yourself for a short time from both relationships would help you decide. Consider taking a weekend retreat. Pick a destination where you know you can clear your head and spend some me-time alone. This way, you won't be dealing with any interference from those guys in your life. That time you spend alone puts you in a better position to choose between two guys. Understand your life is at stake, and it is important to make an unbiased decision. It is natural to labor over this decision, so it is of immense importance to give it your undivided attention.

Similarly, it is obvious what both of those guys want – you. But, knowing what you want is just as crucial. Get a handle on what they believe when it comes to starting a family. The time you spend separated from your "lovers" would help you identify your values and things most important to you. Do not force yourself to fit those values to one guy or the other. Be honest with yourself and let it flow naturally. Pay attention to your gut feelings. If you have ever been in a relationship, take your time to identify what went wrong. Consider the positive and negative traits of guys you may have dated in the past. It gives you an indication of what you can or cannot tolerate in a relationship. A list of repeating positive or repeating negative characteristics will come in handy. Once you have prioritized those traits, it is easier to choose between two guys. It will work so long as you evaluate fairly and honestly.

Being brutally honest is vital to finding the best guy for you, but you should never forget to count on your feelings in the end. Consult your heart and know how you feel about both men. Dig deeply and there will always be some ways to differentiate. Where one guy might get your motor revving, the other might go the distance to make you feel warm, loved, and fuzzy. They both have their plus points but put yourself first. Are you the kind of person who likes to be pampered all the time? Or are you the one always asking for a push to achieve more in life? Here, ensure that you learn to keep lust out of the equation. Lust can present itself like love, but it is nothing more than sexual attraction that wears out quite quickly. Still thinking of choosing between two guys?)

How to Choose the Right Guy between the Two

In today's world, most women are concerned about not being able to find any decent guy. But, it is a whole new level of confusion to choose between two guys who seem perfect for you. When confused about which guy to choose, asking yourself some important questions might help. You do not always need to take a full "how to choose between two guys you love" quiz, but answering a few questions will give you a nudge in the right direction.

  • Does it feel like you are cheating with one of those guys? Ask it to yourself and answer honestly. If it does feel like it, determine which of the guys. Your heart will be quick to answer. When you love two guys, it shouldn't feel like you are betraying one of them. If the guilt factor is high for one of the guys, the chances are he is the right person for you.
  • Who supports you more and makes you love yourself? If you ever experience a moment of insecurity or anxiousness with one of those guys, you should go for the other one.
  • Do you think your core values are aligned? This one may take a while to answer, but your heart is the best judge. As your core values go deep, pick the guy who seems to be on the same page with you. It might put you in trouble when you are a passionate vegetarian, and one of the guys you like enjoys meat a couple of times a day.

Similarly, if a guy sharply opposes your strong political views, you might be better off choosing the other one. The same holds for spiritual and religious beliefs. Of course, it is fine if you are not "the same" on everything, but it is better to be with someone who shares your lifestyle choices, core values, and life paths.

couple cooking in the kitchen

Things to Avoid When Deciding Which Guy to Choose

Simply sitting and reading torn between two guys' quotes would never get you anywhere. You should definitely check some of those confused between two guys' quotes for inspiration and decide which way to go. But, do not let it distract you from seeing the reality and picking the most suitable guy.

Sometimes, burying your head into stuff not that important is a way of avoiding a decision. It happens when deep down in your heart, you have already figured who the most suitable guy is. You just do not want to confess and make a move. The issue usually hurts those who find it difficult to make a decision in life. If you break out in a sweat when deciding whether you want a peppermint latte or a caramel macchiato, you are naturally going to find it a monumental task to choose between two guys. The problem arises from your low confidence and anxious nature. It shows you do not trust yourself just because you made some wrong decisions in the past. Not getting out of this rut could put you in depression. It is better to seek professional assistance to improve your self-confidence and resolve your depression or anxiety first.

While choosing between two guys, realize what you should not base your decision on. For instance:

man putting money in his pocket
  • Do not decide based on money alone. It should not be a consideration unless one of them just cannot handle his finances prudently. Just do not pick one because he seems financially more stable at the moment.
  • Do not choose between two guys based on sex alone. No doubt, sexual chemistry is important, but do not ignore common values and beliefs just because he makes you feel good in bed. Do not fool yourself!
  • Do not pick a guy thinking your family is going to like him. You are going to marry him, so consider your feelings and ensure they are not based on lust.
  • Do not choose a guy who does not seem like a good fit, but you think you can change him. You cannot. If it is hard to love him now, it would only become even more challenging later. Forget about turning a loser into Mr. Right, no matter what you do.

Above all, you should not choose between two guys just because you hope to meet a deadline and think your biological clock would not allow you to find a new partner later. Do not think there is a carrot dangled over your head as an impetus to pick a guy. Do not be hasty. You just cannot make any good decisions in that way.

It all boils down to the fact that caging yourself for a while and pondering deeply on how those guys make you feel would help you find an answer. Once you conclude, stick by it - no need to stress over an explanation, either. Just go ahead and break it off with the other man, saying you have decided and your relationship has already run its course.