What to Do When Your Girlfriend Requires Too Much Attention
It can be really challenging for a partner when their other half has attention-seeking tendencies. They can be brought on by alcohol, an unfortunate trait, or at worst, done on purpose. Regardless of whether the trigger is a substance, force of habit, or malicious intent, it isn’t easy to deal with. As alluded to above, your friendship circle can be affected too. They can get as embarrassed as you during the attention-seeking itself. The damage it can cause is mostly emotional but sometimes physical too when things get out of hand.
Attention-seeking can come in many forms, lying, exaggerating, flirting, being loud, dressing differently. It can be an extravagant purchase like a flashy car, an impulse decision to compete with peers (a piercing or tattoo, for example). There are, of course, different extremes of each of the categories mentioned. Each person on the other end, each recipient, will have varying degrees of tolerance to each. We explore this rollercoaster ride in more depth below;
My Girlfriend Wants Constant Attention & It Drives Me Crazy
If hearing someone say ‘my girlfriend needs constant attention’ resonates with you more than it should, you are not alone. It is surprisingly common. Lots of people struggle with the behavior of their partner. Some fight fire with fire and react; others suffer in silence. To get the help you need to rectify this situation, firstly, you need to understand the type of recipient you are. It is not just the attention-seekers themselves that fall into categories. No, it is the boyfriends and girlfriends on the other side of it too;
- Person A: This is probably the worst reaction type. It is instantaneous and usually filled with rage and force towards girls who require attention. That force can be verbal or physical depending on the individual or the situation. The good thing about this reaction type is that any disdain is dealt with straight away and not left to linger, which can intensify everything. Saying that, if you are this reaction type and you can say that your problem is that “my girlfriend needs constant attention”, things will more than likely be pretty intense anyway. You will struggle to cope with your emotions, and jealousy will pour out. More often than not, this will lead to a confrontation of some sort. Sound advice would be to not even attempt to resolve anything until at least one of you. Ideally, both of you have calmed down. You won’t solve anything by fighting and shouting at your girlfriend, only by providing her with enough attention she won’t need confirmation from others. Raised voices tend not to be heard, or the information is absorbed when the noise levels are elevated. Re-visit the circumstances you find yourselves in after some reflection time apart.
- Person B: Similar to ‘Person A’ but manages to keep their anger about attention seeking women under control in a public setting. Don’t underestimate how mad they are at their girlfriend because they are not showing it. They might look slightly off, but deep down, they are ready to blow. The blow-off is likely to occur in a quieter, more private setting. When you get home, there are going to be fireworks!
- Person C: Thus reactionary type is most probably the crier. They will make a scene, not intentionally like the attention-seeker that has upset them. They just won’t be able to handle their feelings and keep their emotions in check and will blame their girlfriend for everything, especially for getting too much attention. Wherever they are, it’s going to spill out, and it won’t be pretty, even when said attention is brought to their girlfriend without her consent.
- Person D: Unfortunately, this is the type most likely to get hurt. They have the same emotional reaction and feel the same pain as ‘Person C.’ The difference is they do not know how to express it to their girlfriend. The pain they experience and the hurt they feel when they see their dear one getting all that attention are suppressed. They bottle it up, which puts a huge strain on their mental health and causes significant emotional distress, reflecting on a relationship with their girlfriend. This can’t go on forever, and they will eventually break down if they haven’t already ended the relationship.
- Person E: Irritability is annoying, but as with anger, it tends to surface quickly. ‘Person E’ is similar to ‘Person A’ in the sense that they won’t let things fester. They are much more likely to say something straight away and let their immediate feelings of frustration be known. What separates them is that they will usually make a sarcastic or even nasty comment to spark things off rather than come out in a fit of rage.
- Person F: Like ‘Person E’ inside but reacts in the same manner as ‘Person D.’ Everything is kept inside before eventually, it all becomes too much. It is at this stage where everything falls apart, and emotions and traits from the previous person types all merge and can be displayed by ‘Person F.’
She Craves Attention From Others As Well As Me, Why?
Why do guys need female attention? Well, part of it is acceptance, and the rest is ego-driven. So it is safe to assume there are similar if not identical reasons for your girlfriend craving attention from others, not just you. Girls that source the limelight and love to be the center of attention are often insecure. Sometimes it is how they feel internally coming out, and for others, it is an act, more of a cry for help.
- Being Accepted: Everybody wants to be liked, fit in, etc. It is hard being an outcast or not feeling part of something. This can no doubt drive attention-seeking. By being left out, intentionally or not some people react in different ways. Introverts may go into their respective shell and feel sorry for themselves, but when she’s an extrovert, she craves attention. The temptation is to shy away from people and accept being unaccepted. The alternative is to go out of your comfort zone and shoe extrovert characteristics in a bid to get noticed.
- A random act of foolishness, something out of the blue, can court attention and plaudits from an audience who’s not aware of this side of your personality. This is an odd way to gain favor with people and somewhat unconventional but with no risk comes little reward for attention seeking women. Being able to showcase that there is more about you than people originally thought is an attractive proposition but often comes on a scary and intimidating platform – you won’t find a girlfriend that way. This is something that an opportunist will take as it can be daunting going out of your comfort zone and turning attention to you in this fashion.
- Fuelling The Ego: On the contrary, some attention-seeking girls and guys don’t care about acceptance. Firstly because they don’t care about or want your acceptance. Secondly, they love themselves. Their ego is already through the roof, and they cannot comprehend anyone not thinking that they are great, as they deserve attention from everyone who can bring it. They have to be the main focus, the center of attention at all times, and every decision has to be about them and them alone. They will not entertain your opinion or attention unless it directly benefits them and fits their schedule. Boyfriend and girlfriend like this are often the loudest in the room, will interrupt you and talk over their partner, so beware. They can be insufferable and alienate everyone around them, their partners (boyfriends and girlfriends) which defeats the whole point of attention-seeking in the first place.
Individual personalities can be complex, none are identical, and each can be hard to categorize. It can be extremely difficult for a partner who sees their loving, caring, generous girlfriend content to cuddle and spend intimate time with them to turn into a crazy attention-seeking lunatic. Alcohol-fuelled or just socially activated, she craves attention and the transformation is a lot to deal with, and there is no shame in struggling to find the ideal balance that suits you both.
How Much Attention Should I Give My Girlfriend?
Dating a girl who gets a lot of attention can be really tough to deal with. She may not even court the attention she receives. Pretty girls and beautiful women will have men staring and ladies giving evils. You cannot help how others react, so as difficult as it is, both you and your stunning girlfriend should take the attention as a compliment.
If you don’t react, a stare or a glance is just that. They only become more when you make more out of them by offering a response. Most of the time, it is not even necessary and unwanted attention can be brushed off just by walking past and continuing your day. This is a lot easier for the girl to achieve than the guy. As a man, seeing another bloke checking out your girlfriend and showering her with attention can provoke serious jealous reactions. Ask how much attention should I give my girlfriend, not what to do when your girlfriend requires too much attention.
You naturally feel like she is for your eyes only, but at the same time, you cannot hide your girlfriend away from the world. She is a person too, not your property. Appreciate the lucky position, as the attention your girlfriend attracts is a sign that you chose right. Treasure having her as a girlfriend rather than push her away with your jealousy. The danger in this situation is that you feel you need to raise your game to compete with the attention she receives from the outside world.
If you fall into this trap, you are in trouble. If your behavior changes towards your girlfriend when the level of attention increases, your relationship could take a dangerous turn in the wrong direction. Attention-seeking girls won’t put up with your suffocating habits and will just turn the volume up on their own attention-seeking behavior to wind you up. It will annoy them and see them lose patience with you rather than get upset by the whole thing.
On the other side of this, if your girlfriend is not one to court the attention and the alterations are solely in your mind, then be very careful. The reason you act is one that attracted her attention and why you are dating. Dating a girl who gets lots of attention can hurt your ego, yet you’re together, meaning she appreciates the manner in which you treat her and the level of comfort in the relationship. If you start to behave differently when you are together because you struggle to deal with the attention she gets, then the quicker you realize it, the better.
If you allow your jealousy to get the better of you, you will eventually pay for this and lose your girlfriend. Unlike the attention-seeker type mentioned above, your girlfriend will not ignore you and alter her behavior (why should she? She has done nothing wrong!) She will be hurt and upset with your personality change. Your internal jealousy over your girlfriend can quickly be portrayed in an overly possessive way and can alter the dynamics of your relationship forever. Allow it to get too far, and it will cause irreparable damage. It is important to understand that all this negative attention may be inadvertent. You may not be aware or be able to control how you have changed emotionally. Often it is too late once it dawns on you. Pay attention to your girlfriend, not to the attention she receives, and you’ll be fine.