Here Are the Advantages of Friends with Benefits!
How would you react if a close friend was to turn to you and announce, "let's be friends with benefits!" For many guys, there would be little argument. After all, this is someone you already get on with really well, and if there's always been a little sexual chemistry between you, where would be the harm in allowing that to spill over now and again? The key aspect of this sort of dynamic is that you are mature about things, and not to let this get too far so that you encroach on the territory where you progress to becoming so much more than friends with benefits.
These situations can easily evolve into you becoming lovers. When that happens, you'll start doing all the usual relationship stuff. Going on regular dates, sleeping together even more regularly, and looking to the future. But what happens when you find yourself drifting apart? What if your relationship ends with some acrimony? In many cases, when these partnerships fail, the former friends end up feeling distanced. What started as a bit of extra-curricular fun within a friendship can result in the individuals ceasing to be friends.
Knowing How to Initiate Friends with Benefits
While it is often the case that these scenarios emerge naturally, with no great planning beforehand, if there is some element of collusion it can make the potential for fallout less dramatic.
While there would be no need to enforce any semblance of ground rules for such an informal understanding, it would be worthwhile asking the optimum methods for how to establish friends with benefits. Alcohol is always a great lubricant in situations, so this can always be the starting point for the discussion when you are asking if your friends with benefits idea seem okay.
- When you meet your close platonic pal in a social situation, you could chat about a variety of topics as the night wears on. But once you have had a few drinks, the time might come to approach the subject of what it would be like to be casual friends with benefits.
- As you consider this more objectively, the question could arise about how to set up friends with benefits to cause a minimal upset. You simply have to be honest with each other and agree on the best way forward. Provided you both treat the situation with the utmost maturity and levelheadedness, there is no reason why it should impinge on your friendship.
A recommended suggestion might be to establish some sort of ‘friends with benefits’ guide. You would need to develop some kind of timetable for these situations. Knowing how to treat a friend with benefits can be down to sticking to the agreement you made in the first instance.
How regular to enjoy benefits?
- One of the key questions to consider would be the frequency with which the pair of you will allow your passionate feelings to spill into your friendship?
- It would not be a good idea if this was to happen regularly, as this would only cloud your friendship. At some stage, you would find yourselves departing the friend zone completely and imply becoming lovers. When that happens, you might face the uncertainty of fallout from a future relationship breakup, and this could derail the strong emotions that you used to have for each other.
- If there are any sorts of recriminations or acrimony involved in this split, then it would be difficult to reconcile the situation and return to the friendship you previously enjoyed.
- A key aspect of being able to maintain friends with benefits would be establishing strong lines of communication. Talk to each other about how you are feeling.
- If you are on a night out and are starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, discuss how you are feeling and make sure that you tell your friend the moment it happens. That way they will be able to prepare for the possibility of your friendship straying into that grey area at some point in the evening.
How Often Should Friends with Benefits Hook up?
If you have ever been in the situation of being with someone who has been a close platonic friend for some time, but wondering if your relationship might stray into physicality, you are hardly alone in this. To give you the best chance of placing this in perspective, it might be worthwhile to define friends with benefits.
An informal understanding
The point of this type of relationship is that it is completely casual, and the relationship that exists between you and your close buddy should be strong enough that it will be able to survive, even if you do occasionally gravitate towards each other with passionate intent!
- People don’t normally seek out free friends with benefits as an ulterior motive for pursuing a long-standing friendship. But human nature being what it is, it is sometimes very easy to succumb to temptation.
- Because this is such a familiar arrangement for a lot of people, you will come across a lot of friends with benefits articles in the popular press.
- This situation has also been a longstanding plotline for many movies. What is it about what friends with benefits do together that makes the situation so unique? Here are some friends with benefits facts for you.
If this is a situation you could never imagine finding yourself in personally, just wait until the occasion you and a close mate indulge in one shot too many during a night out. Amongst the general conversation, it might not be so unimaginable for a ‘friends with benefits’ chat to arise. This may well start with you asking, “is it okay to have a friend with benefits?” This might lead to denial and scoffing at the very idea.
- But the basis of these types of relationships is that the two adults concerned are always consenting and mature about things.
- They would never embark on this course of events if they thought that was the slightest chance of there being any recriminations at the end of it. We have all seen the storyline for popular romcoms, where adult friends with benefits have ended up in bed together at various points during the storyline. Take the hit movie When Harry met Sally starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal as a couple whose relationship transcends platonic. When they end up sleeping together, this is a classic example of this comedy genre. When they are pictured the following day, Sally lies back, an expression of blissful contentment on her face, unfazed by what has happened, and mature enough to wonder about some of the likely consequences. Is this something that might happen again? Does it indicate they have left the friend zone for good, or only temporarily? This is contrasted with Harry’s expression, which is one of abject regret!
The truth is people deal with these scenarios differently. Not every friend who ends up in bed with a close bud will react like Harry. Most will be far more mature.
Appreciating How to Deal with Friends with Benefits
Once you've come to a friends with benefits arrangement, it will be important to stick to the boundaries you agree on at the outset. For those who are seeking friends with benefits, there might be an urge to take things for granted. What happens when someone else intrudes into the situation? It's all very well being objective about what is likely to unfold when you embark on a friends with benefits hookup, especially coming to an understanding about how you'll both be mature about things afterward. But one thing you'll have to avoid at all costs is jealousy.
When you have been a platonic couple, friends with benefits will be strictly between the two of you. You will have to accept that this is also an open relationship – if either of you wants to see other people, that should have no impact on what you have been enjoying.
- The best way of coping with friends with benefits scenario is to be able to compartmentalize your feelings for each other. It might seem a little cold to expect each other to be able to switch your emotions off and on depending on what stage of passion you are at, and the accepted frequency of these events. But the only way you will be able to make this situation work is if you can view your relationship as a series of one-off get-togethers, and not something liable to develop into something more meaningful and potentially longer-lasting.
Finding friends with benefits online
Signing up to a dating website can be a springboard into one of these unique combinations of friendship and passion. Check out dating outlets that offer a variety of sub-topics, generally appearing at the foot of the homepage as a list of hyperlinks. Keep an eye out for headings referring to friends with benefits scenarios.
You can meet a diverse range of individuals in the digital environment, and an excellent place to start would be the website’s chat room facility.
- This is where you can begin interacting with other site members who can quickly become a valuable addition to your social circle. After spending time nurturing your friendship with these individuals, you can develop a rapport until you get to the stage you feel confident enough to suggest making this friendship more than just platonic.
- Nine times out of 10, singles sign up to these websites looking for lust rather than friends, so they are highly unlikely to rebuff your suggestion.
- The beauty of a friendship with the intermittent possibility of passionate liaisons is that you become party to the best of both worlds. Not only do you have a relationship based on trust, but there will also be the potential to have thoroughly enjoyable and addictive physical encounters somewhere along the line.
- If you can ensure these liaisons are viewed from the perspective of being an extrapolation of your friend dynamic rather than sex for the sake of it, you should be able to manage this unique set-up.