Learn How to Get Over Cheating and Stay Together
Have you ever been in the position where you've discovered your partner has been unfaithful? While some couples have agreed to open relationships, people with such a flexible arrangement and who are capable of ignoring their loved one showing intense feelings for someone else tend to be in the minority. The world we live in is heavily slanted towards monogamy. The fallout from infidelity can be devastating for a relationship, especially if there are children involved. So when you find out your significant other has been tempted to abandon you for someone else, even if only for a short time, how do you cope?
Things tend to go one of two ways. Either the couple will split up, as the trust that was once a core aspect of their relationship has evaporated, and after this happens, it can be almost impossible to restore it. Or they can decide that while the love they feel for each other has taken a severe blow, it hasn't stopped them from actually being in love. Intense emotions can't just be turned off like a tap, no matter how extreme the circumstances. Learning how to heal after infidelity can sometimes being a couple closer.
Moving on Together After Infidelity – Is It Impossible?
Picking up the piece after infidelity can be one of the most difficult situations you have to deal with in a relationship. No matter where you met your partner, whether that’s was in an offline setting, or via a dating outlet, how to heal after an affair can be extremely difficult. Your partnership will have relied on trust from an early stage. Because this is such an important building block for every couple, when anything happens to erode that trust, it could cause the whole structure to come crashing down. So how to work through infidelity in a relationship?
- If you are the person who has been spurned, then you have to ask some difficult questions about moving on together after the infidelity. Will it be possible to rekindle the romance? How much did you love your partner in the first instance? The answer to this question is liable to be rather unquantifiable.
- If you are in a contented relationship, then it goes without saying that you will be in love to some degree. Because you have experienced the heartache of your partner having an affair, the intensity of the feelings you have for them will have diminished but will not be lost completely. So how to get over cheating and stay together? You need to gauge the pros and cons of the situation before deciding if the scales are balanced one way or the other.
Seeing the bigger picture after an affair
If there are other people involved, such as children, then you might have to make serious decisions about whether splitting up would be in their best interests. Or would there be an argument for swallowing your pride and trying to rebuild the relationship?
Pride can be a potent force, and this sometimes means it will take a lot of courage to be the bigger person and look at the longer-term picture. When you are deciding your future, the most important part of repairing your bond will be communication.
- At some point you will have to sit down and have a serious discussion about what prompted the affair in the first place, and whether there might be hope for you rekindling the trust that you once had.
- It might be the case that the party that had the affair was feeling dissatisfied with some aspect of the relationship, and only found themselves succumbing to temptation Because they were unhappy with some aspects of the present situation. This needs to be resolved in case the circumstances that inspire them to embark on this course remain.
- You will also need to determine if the affair was a one-off, or if there is any likelihood that it will be repeated? If the third party is still present in your lives, is your partner willing to cut off ties completely, or can you be mature about things and learn to live by mistakes. These are all important questions that need to be addressed if you want to explore how to get over infidelity and stay together.
Advice on How to Trust Your Husband After Infidelity
Another recommended way of moving on after an affair would be to demonstrate to your partner what they would be missing if you were to split up and go your separate ways.
- If they are the party who succumbed to temptation elsewhere, then what better way to ensure this doesn't happen again than to pull out all the stops to remind them how important your relationship was in the first place?
- Now would be the perfect opportunity to let your partner know the extent of your feelings for them. If you can demonstrate that you are willing to forgive them, then this will be a clear indication of how much you mean to them. Armed with this information, they are far more likely to focus on rebuilding trust, and never being in a position where they might be led astray again. There are many things that you can do to make sure that you take the initiative to remain positive about your relationship.
Think of ways to prove to your partner that they will always be an important part of your life. You don’t have to just wait for birthdays or anniversaries for producing gifts. When you are doing routine shopping, why not pop over to the florist and purchase a fabulous bouquet.
- Position these in a prominent place for her to notice, and she will be overjoyed that you have made this spontaneous gift. How about tickets for that concert that your partner had been hunting about long before the affair?
- Again, now would be the optimum moment to resolve this oversight. Why not go even further and plan a surprise weekend break?
- It might seem as of this sort of action would almost be like a bribe, showering someone with unexpected gifts or promises of romantic getaways might be seen as a way of papering over the cracks in the relationship. But most partners will accept gifts at face value without digging too deep into ulterior motives.
One of the aspects of any relationship that can have a strong bearing on derailing happiness is sexual satisfaction. So if you want to make sure that your current relationship goes from strength to strength in the wake of an affair, make it a priority to ensure you kindle those all-important sparks of passion.
If you can ensure you keep a permanent smile on your partner’s face by treating them to spontaneous sex sessions as well as never letting up on the heartfelt compliments, you will guarantee future happiness.
- It can’t be overstated that for a relationship to blossom after an affair, you must try to look forward rather than dwelling on the mistakes that led to the relationship break up in the first place. Embrace the possibilities the future might hold, and make sure that you do so together, regularly touching base when you’re not in each other’s company with flirty texts.
How to Work Through Infidelity in a Relationship in Stages
Recovering from an affair can be an excuse to draw a line on the past and plan for a vibrant future. Although it might not seem imaginable at the time, the heartache of your relationship can prove to be cathartic. Sometimes people who have been through this experience will emerge from the end of the tunnel invigorated, and with a new sense of positivity about their relationship. Staying together after the affair can rely on coming to a common consensus about supporting each other, without question. Considering moving on from an affair can be an indication of how strong your relationship could be, not how weak that has become.
A common enough cause for people to have affairs is because their partner began taking them for granted. All the little things that they used to enjoy doing together, like spontaneous lovemaking or having weekends away, seem to have disappeared. Learning how to work through infidelity within a relationship is dependent on recognizing how you might have fallen into a routine, focusing on work and not your partner.
What leads to affairs?
A clear indication all is not well is when one or perhaps both of the parties involved begin to lose their enthusiasm, especially in the bedroom. If either one of you ever gets to the situation where you are constantly too tired to indulge in sex, this is not necessarily just because you have been working long hours and are feeling fatigued. In many instances, this is also a clear indication you are dissatisfied with some aspect of your relationship.
- If this has been the case, then it needs to be addressed urgently. The factors that prompted the affair in the first place might never have gone away, merely been temporarily subdued.
- So take the initiative from your experience. Ensure that you deal with whatever the problem was in the first place by talking about it, and seeking ways to resolve it. If there is any disagreement, then always be prepared to meet your partner halfway and compromise.
- Instead of dwelling on the past, be prepared to let bygones be bygones. Making sure that the issues that caused any problem in the first place are dealt with will be one difficult conversation you will have. Another one is agreeing to focus on the future, drawing a line on what has happened. Once you get to the stage where you are prepared to move forward, this is when your relationship can become even more vibrant.
This is where you should begin making plans to do things together that you perhaps put off for a long time. That fabulous foreign holiday that you always talked about but never got round to organizing? There will never have been a better time to do it. You can have a lot of fun looking through brochures together, and deciding which would be the perfect venue for you to rekindle your romance. People often talk of renewing wedding vows as symbolic of their feelings.